Happy Family Therapy

Behavior

Introduction
Sandy's Story
William's Story
Beverly's Story
Tom's Story
Who can benefit from Inner Child Therapy

Introduction

We all have bad habits and behaviors that bothers us; something we do that we would want to change. Many of us have tried to change it by will and have succeeded, but not all behavior is that easy to change, unfortunately.

Sandy's Story

Sandy has realized at a young age that she is very jealous. She would start a relationship with a nice young man and after a few months ends up alone again. Sandy admits that this is usually due to her jealousy. Sandy has told herself millions of times to stop being so jealous, to stop accusing your partner of affairs, to stop being so clingy and suffocating him."

Sandy did her best to not react to her jealousy but for years (and through two failed marriages) have not succeeded. Sandy was fed up with this part of herself and then read about Inner Child Therapy. As a last resort she decided to try it. Sandy quickly realized there was no quick fix to changing this jealousy of her, but she took all the courage she had and started her journey within.

At first Sandy could not remember any traumatic events that occurred in her life, but during the therapy she remembered some sad events that had an influence on her in the here and now. Sandy found within herself a little girl frightened and panicky about being left behind; a little girl thinking that she will be forgotten by her caregivers. Sandy learnt that this little girl was her inner child and this little inner child was the one behind all the jealousy and accusations. Sandy took the responsibility for healing this inner child and her life started to change. Sandy was less jealous and could stop all the accusations that harmed her relationships. She grew into being secure and confident. Her irrational behavior stopped when Sandy's little inner child was healed.

William's Story

William experienced intense anger from time to time. This anger would occur as a result of the smallest incident. A car could stop in front of him or his wife could say something meaningless and William would lose control. The anger William experienced was so intense that his whole body would get tight and he would be ready for a fight. William got so mad that he would get violent with other road users and frequently ended up hurting his wife.

William realized that his anger was out of hand and promised himself time and again that he would try to control it. And he did try, but when the next incident occurred, he would simply lose control again.

William finally realized that he needed some assistance in changing his behavior. He took the route of Inner Child Therapy. Looking back now William realizes that he did not even know about all the anger that he experienced while growing up. William could remember that he was abused and treated violently by his mother, but soon forgot the intensity of these episodes. For a little boy to cope with being kicked and slapped every day his only coping mechanism was to forget about it as soon as possible. William realized that even though he consciously "forgot" about the abuse, all the anger the little boy experienced was still stored inside his body. It was this anger that made him lose control every time something happened which irritated him. The anger of the little inner child inside him came bubbling outward.

William got a big scare when he realized just how much anger was deeply tucked away inside him. Session after session William cleared away some of his anger. William worked hard at healing his inner child and found that the anger in his day to day life became less and less. After a few months of therapy almost nothing could happen anymore that would cause William to lose control. William was free from the uncontrollable anger inside his inner child that ruled his life for so long.

Just like William and Sandy, we all have a little boy or girl living inside of us. Although we have forgotten about the little child we were while growing up, that inner child is still the one that governs our emotions, behavior and habits. When you find it difficult to change a behavior, know that this behavior was learnt by your inner child. The behavior will only change once the inner child has been healed.

We all have addictions - behavior or substances - we need to cope. Addictions can be a dependency on alcohol, drugs, smoking, prescription medicine, sex, internet, sms's, work, TV, violence, unhealthy relationships, food, sweets, etc. Trying to get rid of an addiction could be a very hard job and for some it can become a life-long task.

To stop an addiction consciously is hard to do because the root of the addiction is usually found in the pain of the inner child. The inner child experiences great hurt and the only way for a person to not feel the pain is to use the substance/behavior he/she is addicted to.

Beverly's Story

Beverly grew up like any other little girl. She had a family, went to school and enjoyed playing with her friends. Beverly can remember many happy times while growing up. After finishing school Beverly got a job at the local supermarket and went about life just like any other person. She then met a young man, fell in love and got married. For some reason this is where her trouble started.

Beverly suddenly experienced feelings of depression and hopelessness all the time. It was so overwhelming for her that she often thought about committing suicide. Beverly could not understand this depression that suddenly occurred during what should have been such a happy time in her life - getting married.

One evening Beverly had a glass of wine and all of a sudden she felt better. One glass became two and Beverly ended up drinking the whole bottle. Beverly forgot about the feelings of hopelessness and using alcohol became a quick fix for her emotions. Soon Beverly could not stop her drinking. Her whole life was governed by buying alcohol and finding time to drink. Beverly's relationship with her husband suffered and she lost her job because she showed up for work drunk.

Beverly tried her best to stop the drinking. She would succeed for a few days, but then fell back and started drinking even more than before.

Beverly heard about Inner Child Therapy and had no other option. Although it was hard for her, she committed herself to therapy. Beverly discovered a little girl inside of her during this journey; a little inner child feeling depressed and hopeless; a little girl not sure if the sun will ever shine again.

Beverly stuck to her therapy and soon found relief from the hopelessness she experienced as a child. Beverly's father was her only caregiver and he had to work long hours to support them. Beverly had to stay home alone or with friends. These long hours led to feelings of depression for the little girl. Then se got married and her husband had a job where he had to travel a lot. When left alone, the little inner child suddenly started to act out. Feelings of depression from her childhood became real in Beverly's adult life. With every session she could find a little piece of her soul that was lost for a long time. As time went by and by continuing her inner journey, Beverly found that she did not experience as much hopelessness and depression anymore. As these feelings cleared, she did not need alcohol anymore, either. Beverly was relieved that she could finally break this addiction!

As seen with Beverly, present behavior is a reaction to childhood pain and grief. Only by healing the pain of the past can we consciously and unconsciously control our current behavior.

Tom's Story

Tom is a well-dressed and well-mannered gentleman in his late twenties. Tom realized from the beginning of his problem that this was something he had no control over. Tom realized that he never cooked for himself after he left his parents' home the year before. He also realized that he started to eat less and less. Tom's restricted eating got so bad that he only ate something once a week. He lost weight on a daily basis and started to feel really weak, fainting regularly.

Friends and family were very concerned about Tom. They pleaded with him to start eating. Tom tried, but he could literally not get the food down his throat. Tom realized that he was losing the battle and if he left things as they were, he was going to die.

Tom started therapy. The therapist was skilled and comfortable with Inner Child Therapy. Tom started making contact with his little inner child and soon discovered that it was his little inner child that was the cause of his eating disorder.

Tom discovered that the little boy inside him had unbearable grief over sexual molestation that took place when a nephew molested him as a little boy. He did not tell anybody about this because the nephew told him that he would kill his mother if he did. The grief in Tom started a cycle of self-destruction. This was all subconscious and the adult Tom had no control over it. The little Tom's only way out of the painful experience was to stop eating and die.

With every session Tom grieved the wrong that was done to him and with every session he could heal the little boy and help him decide to look after himself instead of self-destructing.

Slowly Tom was making progress and his eating habits improved. Tom gained weight and became stronger aevery day. If Tom had not decided to follow the inner journey and find the origin of his eating problem, he would have been left in total despair.

Who can benefit from Inner Child Therapy

Inner Child Therapy is useful when a person finds that he/she has a specific reaction to a person or situation that keeps recurring. If this reaction causes the person or somebody else pain, it is wise to do some Inner Child Therapy.

When the reaction a person has is due to a specific reason. When the reason is found, the current condition will clear. Only then can this person be free and in control of his behavior and responses.

If you have some behavior that you want to change, but seem to struggle with, Inner Child Therapy could make it easier. The inner child is the little one at the root of the behavior.

The following symptoms can successfully be worked with:

- Anxiety
- Depression
- Phobias
- Panic Attacks
- Co-dependency
- Unhealthy relationships
- Low self-esteem and insecurity
- Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
- Addictions
- Sexual problems
- Stress-related symptoms
- Eating disorders
- Recurring negative emotions (anger, fear, jealousy, etc)
- Traumatic events (rape, accidents, physical attacks, hijackings, etc)

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