Traumatic Events
Introduction
Beth's Story
Events such as rape, accidents, physical attacks and hijackings cause extreme trauma for a
person. Even if the person only witnessed an event where someone's life was threatened,
the witness can be traumatized. When a person feels fear, helplessness or horror - by
witnessing or experiencing a traumatic event - he/she is very likely to be traumatized by it.
When someone is traumatized, he/she may experience recurring and distressing recollections
of the event, such as images, thoughts or perceptions. The person may have nightmares about
the event as well and worry that it may happen again. Concentration problems may begin, as
well as extreme anger outburts, irratability or trouble sleeping.
If treated, the symptoms of trauma will get better and the person will be able to go on with
his/her life. If left untreated, the person will experience problems functioning and have
difficulties in their relationships with people.
Traumatic events which occurred during childhood, can also affect a person in his/her adult
life.
Beth was a full-time mom of three boys. She was happily married and enjoyed her life.
Her goals were simple: to keep her family happy. Beth found great joy in caring for her
family. For Beth this was a noble job. She took on this responsibility, not only because
of her children, but because she got severe panic attacks whenever one of her boys started
to moan or cry. Keeping them happy became a full-time job.
Although Beth enjoyed looking after her children, she became tired and completely drained,
but could not stop herself. Her children turned into spoilt brats.
Beth began Inner Child Therapy to help her create a more healthy relationship with her
boys. Beth could remember the last time she felt panic. The boys were having a fight and
Beth heard her youngest moan and cry. Beth remembered the fear she felt in her stomache.
The feeling got so strong that she could feel herself choking.
The therapist helped her to get in touch with the source of the panic and it was not related
to her children at all. Beth recalled the time when she was two years old. She stayed with
her grandmother during the day when her parents went to work. Beth was very happy to stay
there.
One morning there was a knock on the door and her grandmother went to open it. A man suddenly
grabbed her grandmother and pushed her to the ground. Beth remembered the overwhelming
fear she felt as a little child. She kept quiet and looked on as the man started to strangle
her grandmother. Beth could still hear her grandmother crying and pleading for help. Beth
was helpless and saw her grandmother die right in front of her and she could do nothing to
prevent it.
Beth began to cry all the tears this young child never could because she was too afraid of
being killed as well. Now she could free the inner child which changed the "programming"
in her own mind and felt instant relief. She realized that the little inner child was the
one who experienced the panic because she was still trapped after all these years. Beth
realized that the crying of her children reminder her of her grandmother pleading for her
life. The little inner child inside Beth's heart was the one who tried her best to keep
her children from being upset.
As Beth did her healing work, she was finally able to change her relationship with her
children. She allowed them to cry and be disappointed and stopped trying to make them
happy the whole time. Beth felt a great sense of relief. Her children turned into
beautiful boys who took responsibility for their own lives.
See how a childhood trauma influenced Beth negatively in a situation that had absolutely
nothing to do with the original trauma? Only when the original trauma is healed can a
person be free in his current relationships.
Please read
Feelings and
Behavior
for more information on how our lives are made more difficult by our childhood experiences.